Rethinking Work-Life Balance
The Illusion of Work-Life Separation: Why It Doesn't Exist
In our fast-paced, hyperconnected world, we often hear about the importance of achieving a healthy work-life balance. Traditionally, that meant turning off work when we arrived home and focusing on work while at work. The reality is that work and life are deeply intertwined, and attempting to compartmentalize them may not be as practical or beneficial as we think.
"Switching Off"
The idea that you can completely switch off from work when you leave the office or log off your computer is becoming increasingly unrealistic. And the thought that we can completely drop what is going on in our personal lives once we start our workday is also just as idealistic. Thoughts about projects, deadlines, parenting, finances, etc. may continue to occupy your mind no matter the day or time of week.
Personally, I have struggled with this throughout my career. But not as much as I have in the past few months. Simultaneously:
I moved from MD to GA.
I guided my daughter into her first year of college, while shepherding my son back to his third year.
My husband and I officially became empty nesters.
These rather significant “life” transitions happened at the same time as I traversed my “work” life. To claim they didn’t intersect would be a complete untruth. In fact, daily I found myself navigating this intersection. I attempted to compartmentalize these aspects of my life, but eventually, I came to accept that it required significantly more energy to try to keep them separate than to manage their overlapping influence.
While striving for a work-life balance is admirable, it's essential to recognize that the lines between the two are increasingly blurry. Rather than chasing an elusive separation, consider:
Accept the idea of work-life integration. This involves acknowledging that work and life are interconnected and finding ways to make this connection more harmonious and fulfilling. By doing so, you can achieve a sense of well-being that go beyond traditional boundaries and allows you to lead a more balanced and satisfying life. Ultimately, the key is not to eliminate the overlap between work and life but to navigate it mindfully and with purpose.
Create transparency when appropriate and reasonable. Many individuals may not fully understand the challenges you're encountering unless you choose to share. While you don't have to divulge intimate details, offering a glimpse into your situation can foster trust and strengthen relationships with others, all while promoting an understanding and human perspective on the complexities of life. For instance, I was meeting with a colleague a few weeks ago which happened to be the first full day I was without my children/ empty nesting. I shared with him before we got started that although I was committed to contributing to a productive discussion, I was navigating the feelings that come from realizing parenting as I have known it was changing. He not only gave me the space to talk though some of that, but he said he appreciated the discussion as it validated some of what he, too, was facing.
Say yes- but on your own terms. Express you are willing to agree to something, but share you want to establish certain conditions that need to be met, or counter with a different option. For example, I was asked to chair a committee. My heart was saying yes, but my head was saying no. Instead of entirely declining, I offered that I would be delighted to support the committee as an individual contributor rather than the chair.
Give yourself permission to say no. Giving yourself permission to say no is an important aspect of setting boundaries and taking care of your well-being. Recognizing our needs, limits, and priorities and enforcing those is not selfish, rather is often very others’ focused. When we overcommit in any aspect of our life, we can’t bring our whole self to best support those around us.
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